Social media in Ghana is clamoring over the news of GTV’s TV Presenter and Personality Gifty Anti getting married to Chief of Adumasa Nana Ansah Kwao who is also a Radio & TV Host at JoyFm. Its almost like the gong-gong beater hitting the gong ferociously and hoarsely affirming the news instead of inviting us to the event.
As each media house shared photos and videos from the event, fans and haters of both personalities shared their comments after each post. And quite unsurprisingly there was a lot more focus on Gifty Anti now Awo Dansoa. Scathing remarks about her ‘overdue’ marriage appeared on almost every website whilst other’s cruelly remarked about the ‘brand new second hand woman’. Could these websites control these negative and slanderous comments?
With all the focus turned on Gifty Anti, we forget about the man/king who found a wife. We are so busy congratulating the woman that we forget that there is also a man who looked around and found a woman to be his Oheneyire (chief’s wife).
I congratulate Oyiakehyire Nana Ansah Kwao IV affectionately called‘the OAK ‘ for his making that bold decision to first date her and then ask for her hand in marriage. It takes a man with a heart of “ OAK” to do that. Why do I say that? Shouldn’t it be easy for a man to easily propose to a woman? No it’s not. Much alone a TV icon , personality, women’s advocate and mentor. A strong woman who has built her own empire and is nationally recognized for her hardwork, independence and leadership.
Not many men can do that. It takes a strong, open-minded man to see the value of a woman from a distance and walk that distance to get her into his life. He isnt’ easily thrown off by her strength and confidence but rather is attracted to her busyness and abilities. He believes that this is the woman he needs to support her become great and one whom he trusts to be with him achieve his vision as well. That is how I see Nana Ansah Kwao.
I first met Nana Ansah Kwao during my interview on the Personality Profile show on JoyFm’s MultiTV. I was already an avid listener of his radio show That’s My Opinion” before the interview. His confidence, drive and deep insights in politics and societal issues, which he presents in a satirical yet blunt manner made me a loyal listener.
We live in a society where the average Ghanaian man shys away from the ‘intellectual’ woman. Her confidence and assertiveness is interpreted as being ‘unsubmissive’ and too-known. Her independence also viewed as an ‘unmarriageable’ quality.
I have experienced this several times. In church. Of all places. The one place where you might think you will meet believers who understand that each individual is loaded with gifts and abilities (not just men) and confidence is an encouragement from God whilst timidity is to be forsaken. But noooo! I have built my confidence skills over the years only to realize that in church, coming forward with questions and suggestions in youth groups; raising your hand and answering questions or even approaching others to speak with them first was a deterrent to some men in the church.
How do I know this? A church leader told me this jokingly how the ‘guys in the church were afraid of me’. My mouth hang open.
“Why are they afraid of me?” I asked laughing as well but dismayed within.
“Oh, they look at your car and where you work and they say this one dierrr, they cant oh!” he responded and laughed. “Ignore them! If they see something they like and cant come forward to say so, it is their loss!”
I smiled and shook my head.
Did that make me less confidence as a woman? Nope. It made me realize that these young men in church who were rather less confident in themselves would rather ‘settle’ for a woman who they saw as subservient, a woman who wouldn’t question their decision-making and respond ‘yes’ to everything. The men, who settle for the rocks on the surface instead of digging for the diamond. They don’t want to go outside their comfort zone.
Do you remember King Ahaseurus (Xerses I) who married Esther? That man must have had a lot of work on his hands looking through the line of virgins who were groomed and brought to him to select as his wife, after Queen Vashti pulled a 419 on him. Imagine the types of women who were presented before him. Women be what! Tall, short, slender, stout , strong, athletic, well-built, black, brown, white and all kinds of body assets on display. That must have been hard work! Out of the lot, he noticed something about Esther. Mordecai-trained Esther, who showed knowledge, confidence and at the same time humility. He found in her what he didn’t see in his former wife and the other virgins.
What of Boaz who saw busy Ruth going about her daily tasks to support herself and her mother-in-law? He saw her from afar and was drawn to her tireless work in the field that he was moved to help her. I am certain that as he drew closer her beauty also came into view and he was like ‘ What a WOW!’ You know how that story ended.
I celebrate the men who see strong, confident and independent women working hard to build empires and aren’t deterred by it. Men like Nana Ansah Kwao who are drawn to today’s woman to find out what makes them different from other women; what keeps them motivated to contribute to society and lives. Men who don’t settle for just any woman, but are looking for a partner who they can stand with and win together.
The men who snicker at what they see and comment as a ‘delayed marriage’ are somewhat delayed in emotional growth. Unable to see past their insecurities and fears. As for the women doing that a focus on your own life to learn, improve and add value to yourself is far more useful than spiteful comments on someone’s life.
Wishing the two love-birds a successful marriage and life.