How could one movie be filled with best a** kicking action, cute spies, rib-cracking scenes, James Bond envy gadgets and the best of British street slang all at once? It was all possible with the hottest British spy action comedy (what kind of film category is this again?). Fantastic movie guaranteed to make you shriek, guffaw and have you saying ‘You taking a piss out of me!’ So what lessons can we learn from this all-star movie?
1. Never Under Estimate The Street Urchin
They dress street, look street and talk street. But they have the best of skills like stealing your gold cigarette lighter which they can use to save the world. They can stand up to anyone. Anytime. Anywhere. They have a soft spot for princesses too.
2. Choose Pugs Over Your Next Job Promotion
Dogs are more faithful than your next promotion which your competitors would kill you over for. They grow with you no matter how small they seem at puppy or in adult years. One look in their eyes will make you leaving that promotion for the normal life in the hood.
3. Be There For Your Competitors
It doesn’t matter if you don’t get chosen. Just be there for the one vying for your position even though they can’t jump into a challenge whilst everyone else is. Even if you don’t have a parachute and it seems your legs will break on impact. Because in the end, you just might get selected!
4. Love Mommy At All Times
Moms are the best. Even if their SIM cards turn them into knife-wielding maniacs slashing at doors behind which your step-sister sits quietly.
Eventually the SIM will fail and she will be the best as usual!
5. Don’t Allow Anyone Into Your Head
Think for yourself! Don’t allow someone’s global eradication plans be planted in yours! Cant you think for yourself? Must you always go with whats popular? One day your head is just going to shatter into grey pieces of unnecessary matter. You have been warned.
6. Beware of Princesses In Comfortable Jail Cells
Princesses are funny creatures. Becareful of the one who screams in a jail cell which looks better than your one bedroom apartment. If you do fall prey to her charms, do take along a bubbly and close the door firmly behind you, just in case Prince Charming is on his way. No you aren’t Prince Charming.
7. Be Patient. The World Isn’t At Your Beck & Call
Why are megalomaniacs impatient? They think the world should cower under their crazy plans. They aren’t patient one bit. Be patient even if you want to conquer the world. Impatience will make you fail in anything. Ask Richmond Valentine. He will tell you in his best lisped impatient voice.
8. Be Dapper. At. All. Times.
The dapper look is learnt and handed down from mentors. You can’t always be slouching in sagging jeans, big t-shirts all your life. Surprise a princess or two in the best of Savile Row suits and always know your Brogues.
And the last but not the least, remember that your manner will make you.
Well catch the trailer already…
There you go! Priceless lessons from KingsMan: Secret Service to teach you a thing or two about life.