I know, I know….what an absurd looking blogpost is what you are saying now. Absurd or crazy call it what you will but surely you must admit it has caught your attention.

Ghanaian dishes are unique just like Sushi in Japan. Our foods are mostly starch based and mostly spicy. Even the bland meals are accompanied with some form of spicy sauce or soup. Sex is one of life’s basic functions which aside increases human population can be pleasurable and invoke deep emotional attachment between two people. When not done right its can really cause a whole lot of issues in a relationship. There are different types of sex positions just as there are different types of Ghanaian dishes. Some sex positions are hard to do and some Ghanaian dishes require also skill to prepare. Badly cooked meals can lead to frustrations amongst some people whose gateway to their hearts is through their stomach just as bad sex can lead to tension and problems in a relationship.

So what if sex positions were Ghanaian dishes what dish would they be??

 

Missionary Position

This age-old easy position would be like plain rice and beef stew. Both are easy to prepare and do not take much time from finish to end. Skill level is 1 with limited qualifications required. Everyone can cook plain rice because we all cooked it whilst in University and the beef stew isnt rocket science either. In terms of taste, it depends on how the stew is spiced and garnished and missionary positions also has variety to bring satisfaction.

 

Doggy Style

This is also a century old sex position as shown by some renaissance paintings and would liken this to Red Red (cooked red beans) with Tatale (fried plantain). Its not hard to prepare this dish but if you forget to soak the beans overnight you will spend a long time the next day waiting for it to be ready and just like Doggy style which also requires patience and time if not done properly can take a long time for a pleasurable time especially for the woman. Skill level is 1.5 with some qualifications required.

 

Girl On Top or CowGirl

A woman-in-control position is much like Fufu and Palm-Nut Soup. This dish is hard for most men apart from professional chefs and the lucky few who were taught by their mothers. So it mostly belongs to the women to prepare and puts her in control from the pounding and turning of the fufu to the preparation of the palm-nut soup which is not an easy task. She makes everything taste good and like the position has control of body movements to make the position an unforgettable one. The soup also contains lots of meat from snail, grasscutter to beef to pork feet. Meat has also been labelled as a food to enhance ones sex life.  Skill level is 5 and top grade qualifications required. J

 

Love Triangle

This is a difficult sex position which is for the fit and strong. If you cant don’t try. Its very much like Banku and Okro Soup. It looks delicious but when it comes to actually doing it, aha! Its easy to try cooking Banku and end up with porridge or something with lots of knots in it and Okro soup if not done properly can lead to food poisoning or some awful diarrhoea. That’s why some people never eat Okro soup outside their homes. A lot of stamina is needed for this position but a lot of satisfaction comes from it as well. (how do I know?)

Hope you enjoyed my rib-cracking post. Its outrageous isnt it? What Ghanaian food can you associate sex positions? Like this post? Share.

4 COMMENTS

  1. Haha, I’m missing Jollof Rice! Let’s see, it takes some time to prepare, but is not difficult and very common. Everyone does it a bit differently…spooning/sideways? LOL

    • Haha! Just read on Buzzfeed that spooning is a lazy mans position so I am guessing Corn porridge hahaha! But Jollof too could pass and it is common hehhee

  2. doggy is certainly my favourite. I will go for that any day, any time. I love beans with friend plantain! Awesome write-up!

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