Your 2 year relationship was one-in-a-million and you felt this was your last bus after your very dry spell of being unmarried for a long time. All your friends adored him and your parents placed their stamp of approval on your relationship. The altar was just a few feet away when suddenly….it all came to a crashing end! The rest of the months flew by on silent wings, you lost weight, lost interest in family events, avoided your friends, changed your phone number and became a hermit. 

 

But somehow you picked yourself up and moved on and found a new love and suddenly everything seems alright again. Until one day when your phone pings a Whatsapp notification and you find yourself reading a wedding invitation from him; the breaker of hearts. How dare he? After he broke your heart he dared to send you an invitation to his wedding? What is the world coming to? You fume and huff and pant yourself to a shudder as your mind swirls bringing back the bitter memories of rejection and broken-heart. After you simmer down, then comes the question which now plagues you. Should you go??

Would you go to your ex-boyfriend’s wedding? The same guy who your friends adored but turned around and rained insults of such colours onto after the breakup. The same guy who you called for weeks on end after the breakup but never got him to pick up or call back. Same guy. As conflicting thoughts swirls through your mind, you decide to ask your girlfriends. 

After speaking to Naana, Babs, Naa Ayeley , they all seem to say the same thing, ‘Go! Shadda and be on point and show him that though he dogged you, you are looking great and he will regret his decision! Chick, you better go oh! Wear that red body-con dress and show him what he lost. The rat!’ They all seemed to agree and yet you aren’t so sure. Aren’t his family members going to be there, you ask yourself after hanging up the phone with the girls. Now you are more confused than ever.

Then you call your Pastor hoping to receive some divine prophetic declaration to make sure you know what God wants you to do. The Pastor asks you to pray over it. Well that was helpful.

You pick the phone and call your new love and casually mention the invitation after having a causal chat for five minutes. He remembers your ex very much. How could he not  when you wouldn’t stop talking about how hurt you were in your past relationship and hence your inability to trust him fully. His curt response, ‘Don’t go’ seemed more like a jealous streak speaking than anything else.     

Then finally, you call your Mom. She listened and listened as you explained everyone’s response and advice on this issue. 

She asks, ‘What do you want to do?’

You chew the hangnail on your fore finger and respond, ‘I don’t want to go. I don’t think I will feel comfortable.’

‘Well go with your feelings then and what you think you should do. I would have also advised you not to although you can choose to do otherwise in case you change your mind. Ask yourself how you would feel if you see another woman on his arms at the altar? I have heard of how some ladies go hysterical and try to disrupt their ex-boyfriend’s wedding. They couldn’t handle the pressure. Are you able to handle that? Or you don’t mind fainting at the wedding of the one who broke your heart?’

You listened and agreed with your Mom. He can have his wedding and enjoy it. You decide you have a new life now and you choose to be happy with who the new guy is.  

This is a fictional scenario I created but one which I am sure quite a number of women have gone through. There has been stories of how rejected girlfriends ‘display’ at their ex-boyfriends wedding in order to stop the event from occurring. Some have fainted whilst others just spend the time bad-mouthing the groom. Would you go to your ex-boyfriend’s wedding if he brings you an invite? Why would you or why wouldn’t you? 

12 COMMENTS

  1. Good one there, couldn’t agree with you more on this. It is emotionally and psychologically suicidal for any lady to try that. I know men who have wept like babies on awkwardly honored the wedding invitation their Exs. Come to think of it, what is the motivation for honoring such an event?

    • Well i think honouring it might be a form of trying to prove that you are so over him and you don’t really care if he’s getting married. Or? Thanks for your comment 🙂

  2. why Not? infact I will go pa pa. I will buy the most expensive dress ever and shadda well well for him to know im still alive. loool

    • lol Ama! Like Kojo Tutu is saying, most guys will see it differently from us women. Accepting the invitation and actually going is a sign you aren’t over him and you have an inner secret desire to see him again. so he will be more excited to see that. Guys like a challenge and your absence will make him feel like he lost out on something good. 🙂

  3. why bother,w’d it even matter u responded to that invite a week after the wedding?
    let it rest and move on.responding to the invite will only prove you are still not over it and even make me much happier and feeling excited u came.trust me i wont be looking at ur dress then…

  4. For me, my mood on the day of their marriage will determine if I’ll go or not. If I have something much important to do that day, I’ll definitely not attend the wedding.

    If it happens to be a boring day for me, I’ll just go and consider it as an arbitrary marriage, besides, I will definitely hear the music of ‘odo carpenter’ played.

  5. Well for me..I will not honour the invite..I believe moving on involves a lot and that is we move on to forget our ex and focus on our next.is just even suicidal to see a man u once love so much been with another lady on the alter..so is better you stay..I never attended any of my ex weddings even though they invited me so I advice my fellow ladies not to try that!!

    • Some people really find it difficult moving on and it ends up costing them alot of negative emotions and even making them sick physically. Thanks Gertrude for the advice 🙂

  6. I’d advise any girl not to go. What’s the point? To show that you no longer hold a grudge (when you and I know perfectly well that you still do)? To gain first-hand information to gossip and bad-mouth him with? Why put yourself through avoidable emotional torment? Enti my sister, unless you magically became very good friends after it ended, it’s best you not go.

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