Your 2 year relationship was one-in-a-million and you felt this was your last bus after your very dry spell of being unmarried for a long time. All your friends adored him and your parents placed their stamp of approval on your relationship. The altar was just a few feet away when suddenly….it all came to a crashing end! The rest of the months flew by on silent wings, you lost weight, lost interest in family events, avoided your friends, changed your phone number and became a hermit.
But somehow you picked yourself up and moved on and found a new love and suddenly everything seems alright again. Until one day when your phone pings a Whatsapp notification and you find yourself reading a wedding invitation from him; the breaker of hearts. How dare he? After he broke your heart he dared to send you an invitation to his wedding? What is the world coming to? You fume and huff and pant yourself to a shudder as your mind swirls bringing back the bitter memories of rejection and broken-heart. After you simmer down, then comes the question which now plagues you. Should you go??
Would you go to your ex-boyfriend’s wedding? The same guy who your friends adored but turned around and rained insults of such colours onto after the breakup. The same guy who you called for weeks on end after the breakup but never got him to pick up or call back. Same guy. As conflicting thoughts swirls through your mind, you decide to ask your girlfriends.
After speaking to Naana, Babs, Naa Ayeley , they all seem to say the same thing, ‘Go! Shadda and be on point and show him that though he dogged you, you are looking great and he will regret his decision! Chick, you better go oh! Wear that red body-con dress and show him what he lost. The rat!’ They all seemed to agree and yet you aren’t so sure. Aren’t his family members going to be there, you ask yourself after hanging up the phone with the girls. Now you are more confused than ever.
Then you call your Pastor hoping to receive some divine prophetic declaration to make sure you know what God wants you to do. The Pastor asks you to pray over it. Well that was helpful.
You pick the phone and call your new love and casually mention the invitation after having a causal chat for five minutes. He remembers your ex very much. How could he not when you wouldn’t stop talking about how hurt you were in your past relationship and hence your inability to trust him fully. His curt response, ‘Don’t go’ seemed more like a jealous streak speaking than anything else.
Then finally, you call your Mom. She listened and listened as you explained everyone’s response and advice on this issue.
She asks, ‘What do you want to do?’
You chew the hangnail on your fore finger and respond, ‘I don’t want to go. I don’t think I will feel comfortable.’
‘Well go with your feelings then and what you think you should do. I would have also advised you not to although you can choose to do otherwise in case you change your mind. Ask yourself how you would feel if you see another woman on his arms at the altar? I have heard of how some ladies go hysterical and try to disrupt their ex-boyfriend’s wedding. They couldn’t handle the pressure. Are you able to handle that? Or you don’t mind fainting at the wedding of the one who broke your heart?’
You listened and agreed with your Mom. He can have his wedding and enjoy it. You decide you have a new life now and you choose to be happy with who the new guy is.
This is a fictional scenario I created but one which I am sure quite a number of women have gone through. There has been stories of how rejected girlfriends ‘display’ at their ex-boyfriends wedding in order to stop the event from occurring. Some have fainted whilst others just spend the time bad-mouthing the groom. Would you go to your ex-boyfriend’s wedding if he brings you an invite? Why would you or why wouldn’t you?