Two days of shooting a wedding in Cape
Coast and I am knackered. Know the funny but annoying thing that happened
during the wedding ceremony? Well..here I was trying to position myself to take
the Wedding Kiss, when I felt a sharp knock on my bum! I turned in confused
annoyance to find two women angrily telling me that I had blocked their view
for the kiss. So where should I stand?  I found this funny because these
are the same women who would insult or frown upon a couple kissing in public
but are so eager to watch a wedding kiss.
I had the honors of meeting Rev Dr Sam
Kisseaddo at a dinner last weekend. After we spoke a bit I bought one of his
books Intimacy in Relationships and I found it interesting that the book
touched on some marital and societal issues I have blogged about previously. By
the time I got to chapter 5 I knew I had to share what I have read so far.
Have you ever tried hugging, kissing or
holding the hands of your partner whilst walking in the streets of Accra and
have someone hoot at you? Or a taxi driver hurl insults at you because you gave
your boyfriend a peck on the cheek? I have. My crime was the holding of hands. So the Ghanaian culture frowns upon the public display of affection (PDA)doesn’t it? Is it a taboo or just something we have grown accustomed to because
we came to meet it as it is?
No wonder so many relationships be it marriage or courtship lack intimacy. I don’t mean sexual intimacy. Personally, i dont think there is anything wrong showing the world you care about your partner. This shouldnt be a hidden act. According to Rev Kisseadoo’s book Intimacy is the close association to a person or family.I am not referring to a 15minutes French kiss in public or making out either, i would have you arrested for indecent exposure. 



Lack of intimacy is one of the common
causes of divorces in Ghana. That’s a simple truth. Every relationship needs
intimacy and the lack of which leads to the slow emotional separation of the
couple. 
Many Ghanaians grew up in a home where
they never saw the parents hug, laugh together, talk and share things, eat
together or even go to church together. Most of these parents divorced or just
lived separate lives whilst still under one roof. 
Answer the following questions to
determine your level of intimacy in your relationship.
·     
 Would you prefer spending long hours in the
office than cuddling up to your spouse or fiancé at home?
·     
Do you share your
dreams and future plans together or you hide your financial plans from him or
her?
·     
 Do you call your sweetheart to ask how their
day is going or just to ask for chop money?
·     
Do you make time to go
out to dinner or holiday trips together or its always home-chow?
·     
When was the last time
you prayed together as a couple?
·     
The last time your
husband got promoted did you celebrate him or just smiled in thought just
thinking of the money?
·     
 Does your partner know when you need him or
her or is it all about you?
·     
 Does your partner know your sexual preference
or do you just jump into bed and do whatever?
·     
 Do you encourage your partner when they are
having a bad day or do you get upset because they aren’t giving you the
attention you need?
·     
Do you ‘chisel’ your
partner with sex just because you aren’t getting what you want?
How did you score? You have marked
yourself and now you know where you are on the intimacy scale. I hope you were
more on the positives. My next blog post will look at how you can be more
intimate in your relationship. Get more books from Dr Kisseadoo on Amazon. 

8 COMMENTS

  1. Very interesting read…very apt straight to the point….as for the score….see me in chambers (no PDA in that respect….hehehe). Big ups. Keep it coming.

  2. Its an African thing, my dad thought i was dating a girl just because i wrote i love you on twitter. In a nutshell we are not necessarily shy but it is as a result of African traditional values.

  3. Oh noo!!i dont side with you on this one. we Ghanaian men express our intimacy in many other ways. talking about Holding hands, even two male friends(not gays) hold hands on the streets …something reserve for gay couples in the western world. Ghanaian couples find holding hands even less intimate, we rather express it by our appreciation of the partner or praising them for their help,care or beauty. for example : I don't know you yet Naa, but your sweet smile cools this scotching sun right down to 0' :-). this is what you will NEVER EVER hear a white guy tell the partner even though this is what every lady want to hear. ….good job though, will spy on your writings. keep the Ghanaian spirit out there. cheers

  4. Naa my twitter was connected to my facebook account and my dad is on facebook thats how he got to see the tweet(post) .I blocked him after that experience.

  5. I agree with you Safe. but you cant deny the fact that times are changing whereby the Ghanaian society is being affected by Western lifestyles everyday. Its not Ghanaian couples finding holding hands less intimate…i dont agree on that. Its just shyness and a bit of pride. Every human being craves another human touch. Praising and showing appreciation all forms part of intimacy. Its a broad word as you will find out in future posts to come.

  6. You blocked your dad? awwww…. 🙁 see the effects of social media on our society? i think that will be another blog post lol!

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