“Have you heard Ama is divorcing Kwame?”
“WHAT!! You are joking! After 2 years of marriage? How?”
“Hmm…I am surprised too. Remember how lavish their wedding was? I don’t know the details but its sad. They looked so in love.”
So thats the trending conversation nowadays on most peoples lips. Divorces are up in Ghana and more especially but sadly amongst Christ believers. The church is witnessing a high number of divorces than ever. Why am I writing on this? I went to church this morning and that was one of the prayer topics..to pray for Christians facing marital problems and to pray against the plan of the devil to break up families. What interested me was the verse mentioned by the Deacon on divorcing. I have heard it many times but the way he put it made it seem all new.
He quoted Matthew 5:31-32 It has also been said, Whoever divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. But I tell you, Whoever dismisses and repudiates and divorces his wife, except on the grounds of unfaithfulness (sexual immorality), causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery.
I however believe that incompatibility, money, infidelity, career choices are just but a few of the factors leading to marital splits in this country. One key but very common factor too is communication breakdown. One would ask but if you are incompatible why marry in the first place? Because of peer and family pressure and a rush to also wear a wedding gown or to have a marital status. People are not taking their time to know their partners to the point of saying ‘i do’ all for the sake of the strong desire to plan a wedding which is bigger and better than their friends or just to have kids. My friend R told me some people just want to be known as Mrs…. and thats it. I came across this article on the increase in ordained ministers of God divorcing their wives. Interesting.
Money. A marriage where there are monetary issues will face some challenges paaa!! Especially where the man loses his job and finds it difficult getting a new one. Depending on the sort of wife he married, it can be a time of insults, frustration, depression or one of emotional support, encouragement and full on trust in God. My mom recently told me of a man in her church who divorced his wife because she constantly disrespected him as he wasn’t making enough to support the family. Incompatibility would be someones excuse to cover up for money issues and hence divorce. One guy i spoke to told me that nowadays the Ghanaian woman wants ‘aben wo ha’ i.e. a ready/made man who has it all. So she marries the guy for his money and later finds out that he is not making her feel special like her ex-boyfriend. She will either divorce Mr.Money or cheat on him with her Ex. Or the modern woman who feels she has her own and doesn’t need a man to tell her what to do so she leaves?
Do people not care about their marital vows anymore? Why would a married man chase after a single girl just for a night(s) of pleasure and risk destroying his marriage. I think nowadays the married women are chasing men in the same manner. So says my friend R.
I like this verse Amos 3:3 , if two aren’t compatible then why would they walk together? Its interesting when you see a couple in traffic and the two are looking elsewhere with obvious frowns on their face. Communication in any relationship or marriage shouldn’t be taken for granted. Once communication breaks down, then most definitely there won’t be understanding creating a fertile ground for arguments, frustration and dark moods in the house.
Has the Ghanaian values in marriage fallen so drastically? Check out the statistics for Tema alone. Wow..its really difficult getting the divorce rate in Ghana currently. I guess its so high nobody is bothering with recording it anymore.
So are problems in a marriage so difficult to bear or are people so unforgiving that they have to let the marriage breakdown? Are people giving up too easily on the person they proclaimed love forever to? Are people just plain fed up with being with one person or nobody cares about the beautiful institution called marriage anymore?